Thursday, October 17, 2024

Cocteau Twins DON'T do cherubs!

  Here's how I remember it:


My girlfriend at the time, whom I will refer to as Ms. Polly Purebread, and I got together partially over a mutual love of The Cocteau Twins and Kate Bush, among other bands contemporary of those times. Skip forward a few years and Ms. Polly heard that The Cocteau Twins were playing in Chicago. Sadly I had to decline seeing them at that time due to work, school, and financial commitments, but I enthusiastically encouraged her to go. Her best friend was living in Milwaukee at the time so Polly was to take a Greyhound from Minneapolis to Milwaukee, then go with her friend on to Chicago and to see her favorite band. 

In the time that she bought her ticket for Chicago and the time of the actual concert a Minneapolis date was announced and we bought tickets for that show.

The time came for Ms. Polly to depart for Milwaukee, and slightly disheartened that I wasn't able to go with, saw her off on her whirlwind bus trip. 

She and her friend attended the Chicago date of the tour, and had a great time. She said the band was better than she could have hoped them to be. Miraculously, or not, after the concert she was able to get backstage and meet the band. When she returned home she regaled me with tales of meeting the band and being allowed to hang out back stage. She told me I just had to meet the guitar player, Robin, as he was a grumpy man far too old for the time he'd been on the planet, and she thought that we'd get along famously. On top of that she had gotten permission from the band members themselves to photograph the Minneapolis show the next night (Nov. 28 1990 for you nerds that need details).

Showtime rolls around and we were standing in line in front of the Orpheum Theater. Ms. Polly had her big, clunky, 35mm film camera. I had an even bulkier cassette recorder with me in a vain attempt to surreptitiously record the show (for the life of me I can't remember if the show got recorded. I'll have to check the vast archive vault at Fort Stench and see if it indeed exists). Mazzy Star opened, and they were phenomenal. We had their debut album and I really liked it a lot, and I had been a passing fan of the band they grew out of, Opal, but seeing them live, recreating their sparse sound perfectly, was amazing. Then the Cocteau's came on and were even better.

After the set Ms. Polly and I took our place by the backstage door and soon enough she was recognized and were invited in. There were about 15-20 goth kids milling around, some "industry" people, and other general liggers (as the Brits call them, we don't seem to have a word in American for these people). There was a couch at one end of the dressing room, and a television tuned to Warner Brothers cartoons. Robin Guthrie was ignoring all the people vying for his attention and was just enjoying his Porky Pig. I sat down on the couch next to him and said "Sorry to interrupt your cultural edification for the evening, but I've got you figured out." He slowly eyed me up and down and said gruffly "Whaaat tha FACK are you talking about?!?" I said "I got you figured out... your a fat scruffy guitar playing bastard from Scotland. Admit it, you're really Big John Duncan from The Exploited!" Robin got a big, shite-eating grin on his face and said "You fucking bastard!!! You're alright! I like you!" Then he continued "I used to be at a lot of the same parties as John, and I pissed in his beer once, He drank it down without even noticing it!"

Robin Guthrie

Big John Duncan














He then said "Go ask Liz (Elizabeth Fraiser, lead vocalist for the Cocteau Twins and one of the most quiet and reserved people [on the surface] that you'd ever meet) about her Exploited tattoo!!!"

I excused myself and made my way over to where Liz was holding court with the earlier-mentioned goth kids. I interrupted and said rather boisterously "Hey Liz, Robin told me to tell you to show me your Exploited tattoo!" She turned beet red and walked towards me, and pulling me away from the goth gaggle by my jacket sleeve. She whispered "I DON'T have an Exploited tattoo, but I do have this" and she pulled down the collar of her shirt exposing her back shoulder blade where she had a very crude, homemade stick-and-poke tattoo of a safety pin and 'Sid Vicious'. She then turned back to me and said "You'll never see a photo of me sleeveless." and with that she returned to the crowd she had been entertaining.

I made my way back to the couch where Robin was still just watching cartoons and ignoring everyone. 
He got a good chuckle out of me getting to see Liz' evidence of her misspent youth, and then we started talking about Sesame Street. Talking of our love for the mis-understood psyche of Oscar The Grouch, and how The Count was the ultimate goth and how Dave Vanian from the Damned ripped him off. As we were engaged in such deep intellectual conversation a very young, lone goth boy approached carrying 2 gold colored angel statues.  The boy handed one to Robin and stammered "Mis... mis... Mister Guthrie, could you sign this for me please?" Robin took the statue, looked at me and winked, then turned back to the kid and shouted "FUCK OFF!!! I DON'T DO CHERUBS!!!"

The kid looked like his puppy was just shot in front of him and dejectedly walked away. Robin looked at me and smiled and said "I don't do fucking cherubs!"

After about a half hour more Ms. Polly Purebread and I were escorted out of the dressing room as management was taking the band back to the hotel. We made our way home happy as two little goth kids that actually got their cherubs signed.

The next day Ms. Polly got her film processed and printed at a one hour photo mart. When she got home from work that day we were going thru the pictures and she noticed that there was an extra print of one of the shots. She got really upset and accused the kid working at the photo mart of printing an extra set of her pictures for himself. I told her it wasn't that big of a deal but she wasn't having it. She finally calmed down enough and we went about the rest of our lives.

HOWEVER... years later I was at a party, or bar, or some kind of gathering where I was forced to be social and interact with others, and I was telling the same story I have just related in this post, but I didn't say anything about Ms. Polly accusing anyone of stealing her photos. Without any prompts the person I was talking to said "Yeah, I couldn't go to that show, but the next day some chick dropped off film at the photo hut I was working at, and she had taken some really good shots at the show. I printed an extra copy and kept them." I replied "Well, you kept most of them. You left one in with the prints she picked up, and when she figured out what you did she was PISSED!!!"

Thursday, August 1, 2024

EGFC MPLS



It all started a long time ago...
Ed Gein died on July 26, 1984. To commemorate the great loss to society I took a white t-shirt and a black Sharpie(tm) and inscribed the words "Ed Gein Fan Club" on the front. I wore that shirt everywhere.
At school one day a friend asked me if that was my band.
"Yeah, of course it is!" I replied. I had thought about putting together a band at some point, and thanks to this forgotten friend I decided to dub it "The Ed Gein Fan Club".

All I needed were some songs, some people to play the songs, and a place to rehearse said songs.

No problem...

I started dating Emma Rotgut, and one of the things she told me on our first date (seeing the Dead Kennedys, which she slept thru) was that she kinda played bass. The next day I gave her my bass and told her she was in my band.

I called up an ex-girlfriend, An(gie) Archy because she bashed out noise on her step-dad's drum kit. I told her she was now the drummer in my band. She said "cool, we can practice in my basement". I said "cool".

Then I called up an old friend from Jr. High who went by the name of Nails Johnson. He had a guitar and an amp. I told him he was in my band and to meet at An Archy's house the next Saturday.

"Cool", he said.

We had out first practice and it sucked.
None of us knew how to play at all, except An(gie) who kind of knew how to keep a slow beat on the skins. After 6 hours of bashing out an excruciatingly slow version of Black Flag's version of "Louie Louie" we called it a day.
And made plans to get together the next weekend.

We were'nt any better the next weekend, but we did write our first original song after An(gie) started playing some fucked up surfer beat and Nails faked his way thru a chord progression that was nothing more than "Wipeout" played backwards. Emma followed Nails' guitar line and I spewed out a tale of an afternoon spent at the beach, and all of the wonders to be seen there. Camel Toe, dead fish, big tits, white foamy shit at the shoreline. With the genius and originality that was the Ed Gein Fan Club we decided to call this song "The Beach Song".

Emma and I had been telling (badgering) Randy Elvis from No Life Music about the band. He was our first fan without ever hearing us. He gave us the encouragement to keep working at it to get the band off the ground.
He wouldn't have been so kind if he had actually heard what we sounded like!

At the next practice, our 3rd, we wrote another song (which I can't remember right now, I'll have to dig thru the vast Plainfield Archives(tm) to see if I can come up with the song), played The Beach Song about 47 times, and our old standard Louie x2. Nails had brought along a friend of his, and if I remember correctly this guy jammed with us as well.

We had the bright idea of calling up Randy Elvis on the phone and giving him a private performance of his favorite band. I dialed the number for No Life and got him on the line. I hit record on the boombox we were recording with (we recorded several of these early rehearsals for the good of mankind) and An(gie) counted off. We launched into our 3 song set. When we were done I grabbed the receiver only to head a dial tone.
I knew Randy Elvis would be sorely disappointed when he finally heard us... (he used the excuse that he was really busy at work and didn't have the time to listen to us)

The next day Nails called me up and said he was retiring from the rock and roll lifestyle, it was just too intense for him.

The ED GEIN FAN CLUB was far from over. In fact this was the first of what was to become an on-going scenario within the band, that of replacing members who lost the vision, the faith, the drive to be in the only REAL punk band in Minneapolis.
I think

After X-mas break Emma cornered me in the lunch room at school and said that there was some new mohawk kid in her class. She talked to this new kid Tom, and he claimed to play guitar. She told him of our search for a guitar player and he agreed to come down to jam with us.

Tom met us at An Archy's house the next weekend sporting a brand new Les Paul and Fender Twin Reverb. "Rich fag" I thought to myself, but who cared, the Ed Gein Fan Club was back on track. Tom also taught us the Eddie Cochran/Sid Vicious opus "C'Mon Everybody", which was immediately added to the growing repertoire.

At one of these rehearsals we recorded our first release, "The Ed Gein Fan Club: Music For Killing Children". C'Mon Everybody was on side A, complete with sound effects of orchestras warming up and a chainsaw, and uproarious applause at the end of the song, The B-side contained "The Beach Song" and our version of Black Flag's version of The Kingsmen's version of Richard Berry's "Louie Louie"
12 copies were made at an exact cost of nothing (I simply recorded over some old data tapes my dad had sitting next to his computer and I ran the sleeves off on the photocopier at the place I was working), and sold for $2.00 each exclusively to NON-punk rockers. Why the fuck did we want to preach to the converted? The only exception was our old friend Randy Elvis.
Randy did us good by listing it in his Top Ten for the month in the No Life Newsletter. So did Ryan, the manager of the store. Then Randy did us a better solid by listing it in his Best Of The Year list, just ahead of Iron Fist's Crucify Me tape!

Tom lasted 3 or 4 rehearsals, when he realized that his ideas about Punk Rock were vastly different from my ideas about punk rock. He then got An(gie) smoking pot and dropping acid (HIPPY drugs!) with a little bit of bed-bobbing in there as well, thus creating a rift within the ranks of the Fan Club.
In what was to become the norm rather than the exception, I had to replace the guitar player and the drummer.

I decided to follow the Punk Rock credo...
that of "D.I.M.", or Do It Myself. In the spring of 1985 (2 months after Tom and An(gie) bailed on me and my rock and roll dream) I took a crash course in electric guitar at the local Schimtt Music Center. If I couldn't keep a guitar player I'd learn the fuckin' thing myself!
I learned how to play a power chord and a pentatonic scale. That's all that was needed for punk rock so I was ready to rock out with my cock out.
Whilst this was going on Emma and I had told her brother, Fatt Matt, about needing a drummer. Jokingly he stated that if we got him a drum kit he'd play. He had never even touched a pair of drumsticks in his life, but this was punk rock, you didn't need to know how to play.
We scrounged up a drum kit the next day.
The only problem with this proposed line-up was that I couldn't sing and play guitar at the same time. This was rectified with the recruitment of Yermom as the new singer. Yermom had played drums in various metal bands. Yermom assumed that we were gonna have Yermom play drums, but I told Yermom that we already had a drummer. We kept Fatt Matt hitting things even though Yermom was a much better beater. Because I was no longer singing, I decided that this would NOT be called The Ed Gein Fan Club. With the newly-christianed line up, Snotty and the Boogars, we stormed into my parent's garage and proceeded to piss off all the neighbors by writing a new song. Since it was the first song that I wrote on guitar, the first song that Yermom sang, and the first song of Snotty and the Boogars, Yermom named it "The First Song".
Snotty and the Boogars lasted 3 rehearsals. I kicked Yermom out after Yermom missed a practice because Yermom was sleeping.
I was still taking the shitty money-grubbing Schmitt guitar rip-off lessons, and there I met not one but two new guitar players...
Sex Pistols and Clash fans Otto and Hugo Chevelesky.

THE ED GEIN FAN CLUB WAS NOW
almost a force to be reckoned with. I had talked Otto (or was it Hugo? I could never remember who was who) into coming down to a rehearsal in my garage, and he brought Hugo (see above aside) with him. Otto didn't want to join the band but Hugo did, so we rocked out on The Beach Song, The First Song, Louie Louie, C'Mon Everybody, and a new song I had written about some fake friends of mine called "Y.F.S." or "You Fucking Slut".

After a hard afternoon's rocking the other Chevelesky couldn't hold back any more. The next practice saw both Otto and Hugo holding rock sticks.

The neighbors, all of whom had it in for me, complained to my folks that their dogs were going deaf and that we needed to find another place to rock. Otto came to the rescue, saying that his mom owned an abandoned house that for some reason still had the electricity hooked up to it. No heat, but juice at least. It was mid-February in Minnesota, where the high temp of the day was a balmy -4 below. We got to the house after a tumultuous bus ride and loaded all our gear into the living room of the empty house. Fatt Matt checked the flue of the fireplace, deemed it somewhat safe, and proceeded to bust up cupboards and doors to stoke a fire. Soon we had a roaring blaze going and the rock was flowing.

Whilst at "The Ol' Gein Farm" as we named the house (well, actually I just named it that right now) we worked on new songs like "Pig Fucker", "No More Wheels", "Hey Headbanger" as well as covers of "The Great Rock and Roll Swindle" by the Sex Pistols, and the Clash-ified version of "I Fought The Law". We still sucked to Jah's high heaven, sloppy as shit, slow as hell, but that was the idea in the back of my head, even though I hadn't realized it yet. I wanted the Ed Gein Fan Club to be the ultimate punk band, the idea that ANYONE can do it, all you need is the balls to actually DO IT. It was the idea of attitude over ability. Who cared if you couldn't tune your guitar? If you had the guts to get up on a stage then that's all that mattered. It's something that I still fervently believe in to this day.

The Ol' Gein Farm lasted about 2 months, then we were booted out and the Man took it over and turned it into a HUD home. Once again the search was on for a suitable home for my rock and roll dreams. Finally Emma and Fatt Matt's folks said we could use their basement when they weren't around so the gear was moved once again.

By now it was November of 1985. We still sucked musically, but with some fine-tuned finagling I got us our first gig. It was gonna be at someone's house for Yermom's 19th birthday. Only problem was that in the past few months The Ed Gein Fan Club had somehow made a few enemies. Maybe it was my loud mouth that got us in trouble, maybe it was the name of the band, or the fact that I was proclaiming to all within ear shot that The Ed Gein Fan Club was the best fucking band ever and every other band ever created sucked ass in our presence. Because of this, The Ed Gein Fan Club's debut to the world was actually played under the name The Cheveleski Fun Time Family Show Band to avoid getting our asses kicked by those who hadn't seen the Fan Club light.


Before we played Yermom had the bright idea of taping the set for it's historical value, which I must admit was a brilliant idea. However, Yermom is such a fucking moron that Yermom placed the boombox right under the snare drum. You can kind of hear what's going on, but mostly all you hear is snare.

Now, keep in mind that Emma and I were strictly sober people. We were NOT straight-edge, as we didn't preach it, but we made damn sure to avoid drunks and rope heads. We thought them all to be stupid sub-human slime. Fatt Matt and the Chevaleskis were know to pop a beer once in a great while, but were far from being drunk at any point in this great story.

We played all of the songs we knew (except for The Beach Song, which Fatt Matt couldn't play): No More Wheels, Pig Fucker, Y.F.S., the Great Rock and Roll Swindle, I Fought The Law, the Batman Theme, C'Mon Everybody, and probably a few more that will remain nameless.

GODDAMN DID WE SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
But it was beautiful! The fucking drunk-ass headbangers and stoned hippy dirtbags that were assembled didn't have any idea what was hitting them. Insults were hurled to and from the "stage", we ran thru our set and high-tailed it out of there after telling everyone to fuck off and that they were fucking morons.

With the world now exposed to The ED GEIN FAN CLUB
we decided that it was time to preserve our unique take on rock and roll by recording a demo/record.

We booked 3 hours into a studio that was owned by a friend of some old hippie I knew. It was to be on my 18th birthday (for all you rock geeks out there it was the same day that Phil Lynott died - coincidence? I think not!) We had saved about $200 to pay for the session and we were hoping to record and mix as many songs as time and our meager savings permitted. We all showed up at the studio door and waited for the hippie's friend to show up.
Then we waited some more.
After 3 hours in the freezing winter weather we all said "fuck it" and went home.

So much for recording our genius for posterity. Fucking hippies. And people wonder why I hate them?!?



At school the next week I was talking to a friend of mine who worked the stage crew. He said that we were welcome to come in after school and record live to the 2 track reel to reel they had backstage. We brought our gear in on the appointed day and ran thru a couple songs to get the levels right. Luckily tape was rolling for these tests, as when we went to record the first "real" song, Y.F.S, the teacher who was in charge of the stage area heard the lyrics and promptly kicked us out, saying that he couldn't believe that we thought we could get away with "that filth" on school property!

Around this same time there was another cat in a few of my classes who was starting out as a rapper. His hip-hop name was Kid Delight and we would spend valuable class time discussing the pros and cons of Sure SM58 microphones and Peavey vs. Crate PA speakers. A few years later Kid Delight gained fame as MC Skat Kat from the Paula Abdul song "Opposites Attract".

The rest of the school year was spent rehearsing at various locations that would agree to let us practice, that is until they actually HEARD us, then their offers were politely rescinded.

In the summer Emma and I graduated and moved to St. Cloud so I could go to school. Far from it being the end of The Ed Gein Fan Club, I deputized a friend, Squeaky, to take my place.

Emma and I lived in St Cloud for 3 weeks. Whilst there I don't think the Ollie-less Fan Club ever practiced.

When Emma and I moved back I immediately reasserted my position in the band, but with a slight line-up change. Emma was now singing and I was playing bass. We thrashed thru our meager set, and set up a time to rent a 4 track cassette machine. We recorded a tape's worth of joyful noise at Pete's Bunker, a buddy's basement when his folks left for the weekend. They made him promise not to have a party, they didn't say anything about recording an album!

After the Pete's Bunker tape was recorded the band fell apart. Otto, Hugo, and Fatt Matt all had to go back to school, Emma decided she wanted to fuck someone other than me, and I joined another band.

I WAS SICK and tired of relying on other people to make my rock and roll dreams come true. Three years and 7 members later and I had almost nothing to show for it.
I took a year off from music to try to reformulate my attack. As 1987 turned into 1988 I joined an established punk rock band called Iron Fist. That lasted until 1990 when I quit.
I got a job driving a courier van. I drove the van for 3 years until I got laid off. Thanks to the great state of Minnesota I was able to turn that lay-off into 2 years re-training at a local vo-tech school. I dove head first into the video class I was taking thanks to our liberal government, but something was still missing. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.
Fed up with rock and roll but still wanting to annoy people from a stage, I decided to start a noise band with myself and 3 guitars. No strings on 2 of the guitars, just feedback. A show was set up for this under the name Clinical Psychosis. A week before showtime 2 people decided to take over the band and turn it into a crappy disco goth band.
I was well-pissed off by this and decided that the ghost of Ollie Stench needed to be resurrected.

I started prowling the bowels of the city looking for the right members for the new version of the Ed Gein Fan Club. To give it a bit more priority, a gig was set up in the Seventh Street Entry for January 1991.
The first recruit was one-time member Yermom. Yermom was found drunk in a corner somewhere, and after Yermom was given a shower and a pint of Night Train Yermom was forced to bash skins. The Ed Gein Fan Club finally had something we had always been lacking; a real drummer. To be fair, both An(gie) Archy and Fatt Matt had progressed quite far from their humble beginnings in The Fan Club, but neither could be considered virtuosos.
Johnny Dirtbag was next. No one knows where he came from, some say a Cuban refugee. Doesn't matter as Johnny Dirtbag barely rates in the story.
Skippy Friendly was the last person to be roped into the fold. Skippy was a closet record label guy who harbored secret fantasies of rock stardom. I gave him my bass a week before the show. It was the first time he had ever touched an instrument. 3 days before the gig I asked Skippy if he had been practicing at all. "No, but I've been jumping around with it a lot" was his reply. "Great, I knew you were the right man for the job".
Now remember here, that the idea of the Ed Gein Fan Club was that ANYBODY could do it REGARDLESS of talent, or lack thereof. We practiced thrice for the show in the basement of a local record store. We were to blow people's minds with the dulcet strains of YFS (You fucking Slut), Hey Headbanger, an improved noise jam called Turston Moore is a Closet Homosexual, the Peter Gunn Theme, and Fuck The 60's.
The show went off without a hitch, aside from Johnny Dirtbag not wanting to show up. After I bitched the little fucker out for 45 minutes on the phone he was at the club 15 minutes later.
We rocked hard, alienating about 70% of the audience, the remaining 30% understanding completely where we were coming from. A drunk and stoned hippy even got up on stage after YFS to sing with us. He had never seen us before, nor we him, but in the true spirit of the EGFC we gave him his 3 minutes of fame. We also got many compliments from the headlining band, some out-of-town pop punk ensemble with some kind of pedigree.
Then the band all quit on me, like so many times before.
And as usual the night didn't end quietly. After loading our gear into the back of my 1981 Dodge Omni hatchback my girlfriend at the time, Polly Purebread, and I got stuck behind a taxi cab that just sat there for 3 turns of the stoplight. When the light turned green for the fourth time I laid on the horn. The cab didn't move and the light turned red again. Upon the fifth change from red to green I laid on the horn again, whipped around the cab and flipped the driver off. He immediately gave chase and I spent the next 20 minutes trying to ditch an irate cabbie.
The chase finally ended with me pulling into the parking lot of a police station with Polly Purebread screaming at me for being such a dumbshit. The cab was right behind us and the driver followed me in to the precinct office. The cabbie was yelling the entire time while I calmly and collectively told my side of the story. Both our licenses were checked out and I was sent home. The cabbie was sent to jail for operating a cab with an expired license.

And then Ollie Stench met 2 people who were sent to resurrect the smoldering corpse of the Ed Gein Fan Club.

In 1996 I was introduced to bass playing Muncie refugee Ian Rans. I made Ian have a religious convergence and renamed him John 3:16. John 3:16 was 10 years younger than me, but he fully understood the concept of the band. With his constant urging I began the search for a drummer and a guitar player. I was playing guitar myself, but I wanted another one to fill out the sound.
A few weeks later I was eating a late-night dinner in a greasy Mexi joint when I heard one of the waitresses yelling at the cook. The cook came out and sat down with me. I had never seen him before, but when he told me his name was Johnny Dirtbag Jr. I knew the Gods of Punk were smiling up at me. I asked if he happened to play guitar, to which he replied "I wouldn't be Johnny Dirtbag Jr. if I didn't play guitar, would I?"
How could I argue with that logic?
Now we only needed a drummer.
Unfortunately it was Yermom who showed up.
I got us a gig in someone's basement for a Friday in February 1997. It was billed as the "13th Anniversary Show". With a date for the gig set I decided that it might be time to show the new guys the old tunes. In true Fan Club form, though, our schedules never matched up, and the 3 rehearsals we had were never attended by all members at the same time. But who cares? It wouldn't be the Ed Gein Fan Club if we were as tight as, say, Aerosmith, so fuck it.
The gig was phenomenal. The 13th Anniversary Show packed the place out (OK, so it only held like 50 people). The crowd hated/loved us. They had a great/horrible time boogieing down to YFS, Pig Fucker, Hey Headbanger, Prom Night Fuck, and Fuck the 60's.
After the gig the band DIDN'T quit, but for some reason we couldn't get another gig.


Just when people thought music couldn't get any worse the Ed Gein Fan Club was enticed out of the darkness for a show that could not be turned down.
A gig in honor of the 68th Anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition. The only problem was that once again the band was without a lead guitar player. I now claimed that I could play and sing well enough that the band could successfully perform as a punk rock power trio. John 3:16 nixed the idea and the search was on for guitar player #7. Lo and behold, Ollie ran into a man(?) who introduced him(?)self as Johnny Dirtbag III. Fortunately Johnny Dirtbag III introduced him(?)self to Ollie 2 hours before stage time. Plenty of time to learn the set, drink 1/2 bottle of the gratis Jim Beam and share in some controlled substances that the other bands on the bill were partaking in.
Crowd response was such that plans were bantered about (and then promptly dismissed) for more Ed Gein Fan Club gigs in the year 2001.

ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END...

Thankfully the ED GEIN FAN CLUB is not a good thing. In April of 2002 The ED GEIN FAN CLUB decided to enter the studio to lay down some tracks. Some of these songs have been smouldering unrecorded for 18 years and the time had finally come to record them for posterity.
Finally reduced to the punk rock power trio I had always envisioned, myself, John 3:16 and Yermom cut 9 songs in 2 days at Yermom's closet studio in St Paul, MN. The result was quite underwhelming:
More gigs were planned as the monster that I created that summer day in 1984 cannot and will not be silenced.
The joke just keeps getting more and more funny as the years drag on.

AND SO IT CAME TO PASS that 2002/2003 would prove to be the year of the Ed Gein Fan Club. Several shows, the bands first appearance on vinyl, press and radio coverage... it seemed nothing could stop the leviathan that the EGFC had become.
It started with the re-recording of "I Like The Cops [Dub Version]" for the 3xlp, 2xcd Twin City punk compilation "No Hold Back, All Attack"
We recorded this once again in yermom's closet and proved to be the last thing yermom ever recorded on tape. After this yermom was cajoled into buying a computer for recording purposes and yermom has not looked back since. A year later John 3:16 and I did some further cajoling and convinced yermom that 2003 was finally the right time to record the follow-up to the classic album "Original Punk Rock Since 1984".
Over the course of 4 weekends tracks were laid down, much beer was consumed (by the mid-90's I had seen the light and started to imbibe in the fire water, but I still have yet to smoke rope or do any other drug), and yermom produced the masterpiece "Blow Your Scene".
After a year trying to shill it out to labels it languished unreleased in my desk drawer. But take my word for it, it kicks ass.
The Ed Gein Fan Club was featured in an off-the-cuff Pulse Magazine interview in which Ms. Chelsea extolled the virtues of the EGFC in an effort to promote our appearance with cross-over sellout hardcore "legends" Dirty Rotten Imbeciles.
It was funny, but I had heard after the show that DRI thought we were mean just because I dedicated our song "Your Band Sucks" to all those bands who felt they had to change their style to keep relevant with "the kids". I never mentioned any band by name, but for some reason they felt like I was singling them out, and they called us mean. This coming from a band who had a record called "Violent Pacification".
And we played a bunch of shows that a few people witnessed.

SO SOME SHIT HAPPENED but even more shit didn't happen. There was this thing that Al Gore invented called the internet that all the kids were raving about. A few years later there was a site on the internet called myspace where all the cool kids hung out. Ollie, being at the forefront of technology, made a myspace page for the Ed Gein Fan Club. Thousands upon thousands friend requests came pouring in, only to be disappointed that we were not affiliated with that crap metal band Ed Gein. Ollie made it well know and was not shy in his berating such requests. Surprisingly, the myspace page was given the heave ho and nuked by Tom. Ollie created another page, and within 2 weeks it was yanked as well. Ollie, smelling a rat, waited a few months and created EGFC #3 on myspace, which was ceremoniously taken off-line citing "copyright infringement". Now, since there was nothing that wasn't created by EGFC that seemed a wee bit "interesting", but the band let it slide. It was quite a feather in the collective cap to say that myspace politely declined to host The Ed Gein Fan Club. In mid-2007 EGFC myspace #4 was launched, and as of January 2014 it is still up.
Another development in these wilderness years was the inclusion of The Ed Gein Fan Club in Erik Johnson's documentary film "The Middle Of Nowhere". This film is a snapshot with ample history to back it up of the long-running Twin Cities punk rock scene.
EGFC played a show for the debut screening of the movie, but yermom "forgot" about the gig. Having kept the audience at Minneapolis College Of Art & Design waiting long enough, audience member Ben Crew was pulled from his seat and placed behind the drum kit. Having never practiced with the Fan Club and not being at all familiar with the material at hand it proved to be a typical shambolic EGFC performance.
We also contributed a track to the Killdozer tribute 2xCD "We Will Bury You" as released by Crustacean and Ismist Records. Featuring Tom Hazelmeyer of Halo Of Flies and one-time member of Killdozer on lead guitar, and expertly recorded by EGFC drummer Billy "yermom" Fisk.
And the biggest news of all, in late 2007 a kid with a mohawk approached Ollie at the bar. He said "My name is Johnny Dirtbag III Jr, perhaps you've heard of me?" to which Ollie Replied "What the fuck took you so long?"

And now, 30 years later, The Ed Gein Fan Club is still chugging along.The band (featuring guest drummer Moth R. Superior) was featured on a half-hour cable access program that was doing a series on various musical styles. EGFC was brought in as an example of the punk rock.
In addition, a documentary on the band is in the works, and a few new songs may or may not be written, recorded and/or performed live.

Just like Jaws, when you think it's safe to go back in the punk rock club...




Wednesday, July 24, 2024


 July 10, 1985:

I literally ran into Sandra Bernhard coming out of the record store while I was going in. We bumped into each other. She turned around and sneered "watch where you're going, asshole!" to which I replied, "shut the fuck up, you're not even funny!"

Saturday, June 29, 2024

Saturday Night Dance Party


Here’s how I remember it:

I started high school in the fall of 1982, already firmly established as a full-blown New Wave devotee.  There were a handful of hardcore punks at the school, complete with heavy black boots and mohawks, but very few other New Wave fans.  There was a kid named Chad who wore an Ian Dury & The Blockheads shirt during gym class, but he already had his tight-knit clique and seemed too cool to talk to the kid with the B-52’s t-shirt. My “long” hair (over the ears but above the neck) may have had something to do with it as well.

By the Spring of 1983 there was a girl named KT in one of my classes who seemed really into a lot of the same bands I was, and she was friendly. We struck up a conversation and became friends.

One day in class KT told me about a new New Wave dance party that some sober/AA people were putting on at the park building on 26th and Grand. I knew the park building well as it was a block from Oarfolk Jokeopus records, one of the only record stores in town that carried import singles by A Flock Of Seagulls and Classix Nouveaux.

Later that day I told Billy about it and we made plans to check it out the following Saturday night.

When Saturday afternoon rolled around Billy and I met up at one of our houses to listen to our ever-growing record collections and to make plans for that night, figuring out the bus schedules etc.  I wanted to go earlier than the start time of the dance in order to hit up the record store and see what had come in that I couldn’t live without.

We hopped the #18 bus around 5:00 and made it to Oarfolk about 20 minutes later. They closed at 6:00 so I frantically dug through the singles but didn’t find anything that had to be added to my collection. We went to the convenience store next to the record shop and bought caffeinated beverages and sugary snacks, then sauntered over to the park building.

There was no one there.

We sat around on the swings trying to figure out how to spend the rest of our evening now that our original plans were dashed, when all of a sudden a little hatchback car screeched up and 2 guys jumped out. They started pulling speakers and other audio gear out of their car along with crates of records. Billy recognized that these must be the guys hosting the dance party and we both breathed sighs of relief. We finished our delicious sugary snacks and watched as the 2 guys pulled seemingly endless amounts of gear out of their tiny car. By 7:00, door time, they were set up and ready to rock. Billy and I paid our $2 .00 cover and entered to the sounds of David Bowie's "Let's Dance".

It was glorious!

There were about 20 other misfit kids who showed up to dance along to DEVO, Blondie, Men Without Hats, Psychedelic Furs, Bananarama…  I had a curfew of midnight, and the dance went until 1:00 so I would have to dip out before the festivities wound up, but Billy was going to stick around til the end. At 11:30 I left, alone, and made my way the 6 blocks to the bus stop and caught another #18, filled with elation that I not only found a place I felt I fit in, but that played the music that I loved. AND they played stuff that was new to me, which was a bonus.  Until then the only places I found new music was either at the record stores or on KBEM, the jazz station run by the City Of Minneapolis, but had a new wave and punk show on Friday nights called Ready Steady Go. A year later they would feature another new wave show, this one on Sunday nights and called Radio One. Those two shows would open my ears to so many new bands! I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out without them.

The next afternoon Billy and I got together and he filled me in on what I missed after I had to split. He ended up talking to the guys who were putting the dance on, and offered our services the next week in setting up, so things weren’t so hectic (and so we wouldn’t have to pay the $2.00 cover charge!). We screwed around for a few hours, then I went home and prepared for the new school week.

I saw KT and told her of my exploits at the dance, and asked why she wasn't there. I can't remember her excuse but it didn't matter. I thanked her for turning me on to it and told her I was planning on going the following Saturday.

Billy, An(gie) Archy, Ollie Stench
The next Saturday Billy and I once again hopped the bus and made our way to the dance party. As usual the two hosts were cutting it to the last minute in showing up. We walked over to their car and, true to Billy's word, helped them load in the P.A. and the crates of records, and helped set up once inside. They let us dig through the records and pull out songs we wanted to hear. When the system was finally set up they tested it out by playing the very UN-New Wave Nightfly album by Donald Fagan, which, to this day, I can't figure out why.

And that's how Billy and I spent Saturday nights in the summer of '83.

They stopped holding the dances once the new school year started in the fall, and that was OK. I met An(gie) Archy by then and had other things to occupy my time with.

Spring of 1984 and we had heard that they were going to resume the Saturday night dance party, and Billy and I checked out one of the first ones, but by that time our tastes were changing; Billy was getting into the electronic/industrial scene and I was getting into the punk scene, and the dance party just didn't hold the same magic it did the previous summer. 

 

 

Friday, May 31, 2024

Prince Drives A Mazarati!

WARNING: NO MUSIC DOWNLOAD 

Here's how I remember it



I started high school in the fall of 1982. I grew up and lived in deep south Minneapolis, a few blocks from the city line, but I had chosen to attend a high school on the complete opposite side of the city. Originally I chose to go to Minneapolis North High School for the radio broadcasting program. When signing up for my first trimester of freshman classes I forgot to choose an elective. Rather than having me bus all the way across the city my guidance counselor took it upon himself to enroll me in the television production class. After the first trimester of the school year I had given up radio and fully embraced the tv production program.

The teacher of the class, Dave Nielsen (that's MISTER NIELSEN until you get that diploma in your hand!!!) was a television sports producer and director, who for one reason or another decided to teach high school kids. I owe a HUGE debt to MISTER NIELSEN, and to the studio engineer he brought in (Paul 'Rug' Johnson, one of only 2 hippies I have ever met that were cool and not still stuck in the summer of love). Those two teachers changed my life for the better and set me on a path that was to sustain me for the next 30 years (off and on, when I could find the work). I loved that class, and excelled because of the passion I had for what I was being taught.

After my freshman year, in the summer of 1983 I was made an offer by a former student (I think his name was Rob something-or-other) of MISTER NIELSEN's to help video tape the 1983 Minnesota Black Music Awards (MBMA). Apparently Rob had called MISTER NIELSEN asking if there were any stand-out students he would recommend to assist in the shoot. Rob was given my name and number along with the name and number of a classmate of mine (Eric With-A-'C' not Erik With-A-'K').

June 29 rolled around and I met Rob at his house, and along with Eric we rode in Rob's van to the rental place we were picking up all of the video gear from. With the 3 of us it was a pretty quick job and soon we were on our way to the gig.  The entire way there Rob kept repeating to Eric and me that as soon as the awards ceremony was over we were to pack up our cameras immediately. There was going to be a band called Mazarati playing and he was not given the rights to video tape them. Mazarati were some offshoot project Prince had put together, and even as early as 1983 (this is pre-Purple Rain) Prince had the reputation of keeping all of his cards close to his chest, so I wasn't really all that surprised. 

We got all the gear loaded in and set up. Eric and I were on cameras as well as another guy Rob had brought in, and a guy running the audio, which consisted of 1 mic going into a 16 channel portable mixing board. A little overkill for 1 mic, but  I was a novice and paid it no attention at the time.

The awards show started promptly at 7pm and were over by 9:30, at which time we were all reminded by Rob, via the headsets we were wearing, to pack up the cameras immediately. It took less than 10 minutes for all of us to get torn down and packed up, and another 10 minutes to reload the van. Then Rob told us to grab seats in the audience and watch Mazarati.

Mazarati came on and were your typical 1983 'Minneapolis Sound' / Prince clones, and sadly I don't remember much else, as at that time that style of music was not exactly my thing. I didn't hate it by any stretch, but in the summer of 1983 I was still obsessed with DEVO and the big discovery for me that summer; a band called Classix Nouveaux. However, the single most memorable thing was, after about 3 songs of Mazarati 'originals' (most likely penned by Prince), the singer said "now we'd like to take a few minutes and bring a friend of ours up to help us on a song or two". And with that Prince got up on stage and played about six songs. For the lie of me I have ZERO recollection of what was played, and chances are I wouldn't have recognized them anyway. But I then knew why it was so important that there was no recording equipment in play while Prince was on stage.

By about 11:00 the whole show was over and Rob was driving us all home. We swung by a Burger King that Rob's roommate managed and we got free burgers as part of the payment for our services. Since I wasn't driving at the time Rob dropped me off at my house and slipped me a check for $50 as the other part of my payment. I took the check, shook his hand, and promptly went inside and right to bed.

In hindsight I really wish I had a memory of that night's details. I eventually bought the debut Mazarati album and didn't recognize any of the songs. I bought all the Prince records from around that time; Dirty Mind, Controversy, 1999, Purple Rain and none of those songs rang a bell either. I've pressed hardcore Prince fans to scour the collectors market for any kind of information but in 40 years have come up with a complete zero.

Here' proof it existed at one point but is sadly null

Apparently the awards show is discussed here but I'm not watching the entire video to see what they have to say about it.Video linked here

And I guess this was Mazarati's biggest hit - 100 MPH


ADDENDUM: I graduated from North High in June of 1986, having taken the Television Production class all four years. After the graduation ceremony, with diploma in hand, I b-lined it over to MISTER NIELSEN, pushing aside all of my family and their congratulations. Waving the diploma in hand and in front of his face I smirked "hello DAVE!!! Look what I have, DAVE!!! Diploma in hand DAVE!!!". He smiled and shook my hand, and in all sincerity I thanked him for all he had done for me over the ensuing 4 years.

Tuesday, February 6, 2024

Marky Ramone Almost Cancelled


 Late 90s-ish and The Hostages were booked to open for Marky Ramone in the 7th St Entry. We were geeked. That Marky Ramone And The Invaders record was pretty cool, and Marky was as close to a living legend as I had met at that time.
The Hostages did our usual show and in doing so I accidentally kicked a monitor speaker off the stage while swinging from the lighting rig.
A guy I was friendly with was running sound and managing the night, and apparently was in a bad mood and threw not only me out after our set, he threw out the other Hostages (who had nothing to do with my accidental kicking the monitor off the stage [and was COMPLETELY un-damaged!])
I went down into the Entry dressing room and started packing my stuff up. Marky was there and, very honestly hurt, asked "ain't you's sticking around?" I told him what happened, and how I was 86'd and wished him a good show. He threw his drink on the floor and, genuinely upset, asked me if I wanted him to cancel his set. I told him there was a room full of fans upstairs and it wouldn't be fair to them if he canceled. He asked me again, and said "I'll fuckin' cancel if you want me to, that sucks they won't let you rock out!".
I wished him well, told him to play extra hard for me, and I left the building.
Say what you want about Marky Ramone, that night he was willing to cancel a show just for me. 

He's a stand-up guy.

 

 

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

MOTÖRHEAD!!! FUCKING MOTÖRHEAD!!!



Here's how I remember it:

I don't remember the first time I actually heard Motörhead... I remember hearing *of* them for ages, but I can't pinpoint the exact time Lemmy first molested my earholes.  MAYBE their appearance on The Young Ones? but logic dictates that I had heard them before 1985. I probably owned a comp or 3 that had  Motörhead on it... Catch A Wave, Geef Vor New Wave, Chiswick Chartbusters?

Whatever, I was familiar enough with them that I totally geeked out when, in early 1987, I heard that they were going to play an all ages show on Easter Sunday of that year. In 1987 I was 19 years old and had missed the change in the drinking age from 19 to 21 by a mere 3 months.

I was at the big family Easter dinner and had just finished eating when I excused myself and told everyone that I had plans to go see Motörhead. Puzzled looks fell on the faces of my entire family and a few were wondering who would go to a car show on Easter... 

 

 

 

 

As usual I don't remember anything about the show, to the point where until I found this recording I wasn't sure whether it was Philthy or Pete Gill on drums (it was Philthy). 


This was to be the first of many times witnessing the greatest rock n roll band to ever walk this or any other planet, I must have seen them a total of five, six, *maybe* seven times? I can't remember and no one reading this really cares. Suffice it to say that I saw Motörhead every time they played near me from this show in 1987 until 2015 when Lemmy's death effectively killed the band... aside from 2 shows that I skipped. 

One was the next year or so, back again at First Avenue. I had started singing in Iron Fist (possibly named after Motörhead's album of the same name?), and we heard that Slayer, Overkill, and Motörhead were booked to play. Iron Fist's guitar player, Nikki, and I went to the club and met general manager, head booker, and all around grumpy bastard Steve McLellan, and we BEGGED him to put us on the bill as the opener. We offered to play for free. We offered to do a twenty minute set. We offered to stick around after the show and help clean up. Steve was hearing none of it, even though he was a big Iron Fist fan. He claimed that there just wasn't any room for an opening band and walked away.

In protest I boycotted the show. I had seen Overkill already, and was not a fan of Slayer...

A few weeks after the show Nik and I were back down in the First Avenue main office on more band business. Steve heard us and poked his head into the office we were in and, almost tearfully and very honestly said "Boys, I fucked up. If I had put you on that show you'd be signed and touring right now." Anyone who met Steve would immediately tell you he was the grumpiest, most cantankerous bastard out there. But in this moment he showed true emotion and genuine remorse. In that moment, also, he won enduring admiration and respect from me, and I enjoyed playing for him and his club for many years after.

The other time I missed Motörhead was in the mid 90's when they played the local heavy metal club, The Mirage, and I wasn't able to get the night off of work to attend.

Another time I saw them, in the late 90's or early 2000's, I was able to get backstage where Lemmy was sitting by himself reading a book. My friend Mike (drummer of Quincy Punks) had somehow wrangled a spot as Mikki Dee's drum tech. and was able to get me backstage before the show. He took me back into the dressing room and said "Hey Lem, this is Ollie, Ollie, this is Lemmy. I gotta get to work." and he left us alone together. Lemmy went back to reading his book and I had to think quick. The LAST things he wanted to talk about were Motörhead and Ace Of Spades, so I had to quickly go thru a mental list of other topics of conversation. And then I hit on it.

I said "Hey Lemmy, I want your opinion on something."

Without looking up from his book he said "yeah, what's that?"

"Well, I want to know your ideas on how Herman Goering's experience as a fighter pilot in World War One influenced the way he ran the Luftwaffe in WWII."

Lemmy casually put his book down and asked me to repeat what I had just asked. I dutifully repeated myself and the man's eyes lit up as he stood up and shook my hand.

I'd *LOVE* to say that we had a half hour conversation, but in reality I got a half hour history lesson/lecture answering my query. Ultimately the tour manager popped his head into the dressing room and pulled Lemmy away, but not before I was able to secure another handshake and an autograph. I said "you're going to laugh when you see what I want signed" as I handed him a copy of the "men's magazine" Jail Babes (in which a fully clothed Lemmy appeared with to fully UNclothed women). He took it, signed it, and said "I wasn't laughing when we took those pictures, why would I laugh now?", and then left the room.

Ollie Stench, Mike Roberston, Lemmy Killmister


I now have his autograph framed and it hangs next to my bedroom door.

I know Lemmy never remembered me personally... he probably didn't remember exactly when or where, but I know he went to his urn remembering the fact that at some time some kid asked him a question he was genuinely interested in.

Anyway, back to the 1987 show. In the spring of 2023 I was trawling some bootleg sites and came across this recording. I'm always amazed when things like this appear so many years after the fact.

Here you go, Motörhead at First Avenue April 1987

  1. Iron Fist
    Play Video
  2. Stay Clean
    Play Video
  3. Nothing Up My Sleeve
    Play Video
  4. Metropolis
    Play Video
  5. Doctor Rock
    Play Video
  6. Deaf Forever
    Play Video
  7. Ace of Spades
    Play Video
  8. Steal Your Face
    Play Video
  9. Bite the Bullet
    Play Video
  10. Built for Speed
    Play Video
  11. No Class
    Play Video
  12. Orgasmatron
    Play Video
  13. Motörhead
    Killed by Death